Colbert always says it the best...
If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) June 11, 2013
I can relate...
I cook because I secretly love the sound of the smoke alarm.
— Irene McGee (@springfever) June 7, 2013
It's almost football season!
Bill Belichick is going to deploy Tim Tebow's virginity in exciting and unconventional ways.
— Mark Lisanti (@marklisanti) June 10, 2013
It's like someone trying to convince you to sleep with them, "I promise it will only be 3 minutes!" Oh, okay then, if it's only 3 minutes!
— Meaghan O'Connell (@meaghano) June 11, 2013
You'd think the person who got a pea stuck up their nose would be the toddler. You'd think.
— Stephanie (@CcSteff) June 12, 2013